Yet another day

Hey guys, still remember me?

I've been so occupied the past week with assignments and tests. I don't expect the situation to abate in the immediate future. There has been many tough lessons on life over the past week; some new, some forgotten. Well, the usual wandering in the wilderness must continue for I have few alternatives.

Coincidentally, it happens to be the 50th year of Independence today. I am no particular fan of flag fetishism as I believe that such symbols are superficial. Numbers hold little significance to me. 50 years mean nothing if no real progress is made. In fact it becomes a burden as the increased years is met with an equal rise of expectations. A patriotic citizen is the law-abiding citizen that acts in the best interest of his nation and not one that parades around with flags covering every inch of his personal belongings. Well, for what its worth anyway, Happy Independence Day!

Spider Pig

LOL

Ripples

The first white pebble is cast in the midst of a long drawn frigid night. It pierces the delicate silvery skin of the forlorn lake, and it unleashes its energy concealed beneath its benign appearance. The first shock waves rush outward in every direction. The polished portrait of perfection is shattered in an instant. Its reverberations echo through the entire body of water as water laps along the parched edges. As the energy dissipates into the depths of darkness, silence falls once more.

Tetelestai

This is a short prose inspired by my recent study on the Greek word “tetelestai”, which is commonly translated as “It is finished”, the words uttered by Christ as He was dying. The poem describes precisely its meaning, or at least I hope it does. I'm more accustomed to writing poems of a different nature, so do pardon me if you find its craftsmanship shoddy.

Tetelestai

As He cried out on that cross, “It is finished”
As love, not nails held Him there, He uttered His last,
the earth shook and my prison bars were shattered
and there He stood before my sorrow-stricken eyes.
His arms outstretched in a loving embrace
“My child, you are free to go
for I have bore your sentence in full.
Go, and sin no more.”

As He cried out on that cross, “It is finished”,
death could not hold Him for long.
He took my ever-compounding debts,
paid them in full with His precious blood
and emancipated me from eternal slavery.
Then He hoisted me upon His shoulder,
and showed me a mansion from afar,
“My child, it awaits you at the end of your journey
where you will dwell with Me forever.”

Back to the Wilderness

I find myself staring at the leaves drifting past once again. A deafening silence cloaks me despite the rustling of those withered leaves. I am staring ahead, and yet I am not; for I am truly far away exploring the hidden crevices in my mind. I do not know how many masks have I shuffled through the past week, but I know for sure that I have exhausted my entire wardrobe of masks. For one thing, every mask worn eventually demands a payment in terms of emotions for its service rendered.

The burning throbbing sensation on my palms does not cease. My hands glow of crimson and I writhe because of the wounds inflicted not by a foe, but by a friend. Deep indeed are the wounds made by a trusted one. Perhaps friends have changed, or perhaps I have erred in perceiving the true situation. Yet the wounds do not account for the sheer volume of blood on my hands. The blood of another mingles with that of mine. I cannot escape this scene. There is little to be said except that this guilt has opened the floodgates of bitter memories. I’m sorry for that all that has been said and done. I may be forgiven, but I do not know if I can forgive myself.

Perhaps it is time for me to return back to where I have always been more at home. The wilderness of the mind is a land where the laws of nature hold no sway over. There is neither life nor death planted in the dust. Driven here by my unwanted hand of mortis, it will do no harm here. I have come to realize that my gauntlet wrecks havoc on all matter it touches. I have little choice but to depart from civilisation not for my sake, but for the sake of others. I have had enough of my social missteps and the harm wrought upon others. No one, save God will understand why I do what I do. No one, save God will understand how I feel at times. Here my sole companion, loneliness awaits me to resume my journey. She stands there in silence, imploring me to move out. She has followed me most of the days of my life, and I suspect she will accompany me till I reach my dusty grave. The dry harsh winds have issued forth their call. And so I shall wander forth into the gray horizons.

Nescafe Latte

I recently developed a new passion. Coincidentally, it will help me pull through my last semester in AUSMAT. The long drawn sleepless nights beckons. ;)

Split

After thinking about my prior post regarding "Quality Blogging", I realized that some photo blogging and posting up some daily light blogging is necessary to give my circle of dispersed friends and family a means to know how I am doing. This puts me in a dilemma as many of my friends are complaining about how heavy my new posts are. On the other hand, there are others who enjoy reading them and like the thought provoking ideas I forward. I have thus reached the decision to create another blog to cater to this two separate niches. This current blog will be used for my regular routine and crap, while another blog will be dealing with my contemplations and complex thoughts. However, this idea could just remain as one as I am pursuing more urgent projects in the meantime. Expect changes though, in the coming weeks.

Just some musings on life...

It's been another crazy week. So much has transpired but I am unable to fully describe the turn of events of this period. I will try my best to do so though.

Life is but a vapour, a wisp that dances before your eyes and is gone the next moment. The decades may seem to stretch for eternity, but each decade is no more than a grain of sand in the hourglass of time. As soon as a toddler is able to get on his feet and peer beyond the constrains of his cradle, he should be able to catch a glimpse of his grave on the horizons, complete with a tombstone etched with his name. I'm not being fatalistic, I'm staring at reality undistorted. Hence, in light of the brevity of life, do be sure that the choices you make now are the ones that you will not look back someday with regret.

"Life is the art of drawing without an eraser" - John W. Gardner

You can never be sure of your tomorrows, for what if...

...you fell through that hole in the roof...

... and splattered five storeys onto the concrete below?

Because it did happen to someone in my hostel yesterday. It occurred at the block next to mine. I'm not joking, take a closer look at the picture above. The brownish stain is actually blood and the debris around it are roof fragments. I do not know if the guy who fell through survived, but circulating rumours say otherwise. I am not surprised. It would take a miracle to survive such a fall.

Besides that, what happened?

I am emotionally spent. The events of the preceding weeks have left me drained and my focus has been disrupted. I find myself staring blankly into the thin air at times, my thoughts raging in the midst of an imagined war zone. My actions during the course of this period have definitely been out of character, to the point that I surprise myself at times. What happened to the usually soft-spoken, cheerful and friendly dude? It is at times like this that I am forced to consider the possibility that I still have undiscovered triggers bidding its time to be detonated.

I should not be surprised though. After all, I received a lashing out from someone whom I never thought of as capable of doing so several days ago. It shocked me, not because of its severity, but because I always perceived the person to be extremely patient, nice, friendly, etc.. you get the picture. My heinous crime that earned me such a lashing was nothing more than to call a spade a spade after all. It looks like people don't seem to enjoy the truth being stated, be it tactful or bluntly. In fact, if it had been anyone else, I would not have been surprised, but seeing it from this person is something new. I think I may need a lesson in diplomacy.

I may have been walking around portraying my usual calm and stoical self to the world but no one has had a glimpse of the firestorm raging within. Now that the inferno of indignation has consumed itself completely, I am left to contemplate with its remnants. A fire is not solely an agent of destruction; it is also an agent of refinement. It consumes; it purifies. Whether I am consumed or purified remains to be seen…

Battle Hymn of the Republic

A very old but meaningful song. :) It has an intriguing history behind it; and its scriptural depth within is simply amazing.

Here it goes:

Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord:
He is trampling out the vintage where the grapes of wrath are stored;
He hath loosed the fateful lightning of His terrible swift sword:
His truth is marching on.

I have seen Him in the watch-fires of a hundred circling camps
They have builded Him an altar in the evening dews and damps
l can read His righteous sentence by the dim and flaring lamps
His day is marching on.

I have read a fiery gospel writ in burnish`d rows of steel,
"As ye deal with my condemners, So with you my grace shall deal;"
Let the Hero, born of woman, crush the serpent with his heel
Since God is marching on.

He has sounded form the trumpet that shall never call retreat
He is sifting out the hearts of men before His judgment-seat
Oh, be swift, my soul, to answer Him! be jubilant, my feet!
Our God is marching on.

ln the beauty of the lilies Christ was born across the sea,
With a glory in His bosom that transfigures you and me:
As He died to make men holy, let us die to make men free,
While God is marching on.

Anarchy?

"Government, even in its best state, is but a necessary evil; in its worst state, an intolerable one." - Thomas Paine

Ever since mankind achieved the threshold known as “civilization”, among its distinguishing traits are a hierarchical society and stable governance. Traditionally, governments have been regarded as essential for a society to develop. Apparently, the need to appoint an authority over their heads proved to be that which “civilized” human beings which brought organization and structure to society as a whole. Hence, we find the various forms of governments in every history textbooks, from the god-kings pharaohs, monarchies and theocracies to democracies.

As I have been reading lately on the shortfalls of governments worldwide, this has led me to toying with an idea, why is a government necessary? Could we do without an authority dictating our lives? Before I proceed any further, it is important that I disclaim that I am not advocating anarchism, but I find it quite a novel concept to ponder on. Far from being the chaos and bedlam that anarchy conjures up in one’s mind, anarchism actually has its proponents globally since antiquity. No, these folks are not deranged or rebels and they wear their labels as “anarchists” proudly.

The word anarchy is derived from Greek, translated literally to be “no-rulers”. Anarchism is simply a society which does not have a formal governing institution. Ok, on the surface it may not seem so feasible, but let’s start from analyzing other forms of governments. In the modern perspective, monarchism is an antiquated concept that remains as a relic of the Middle Ages. Very few absolute monarchies remain, and of those which remain are under pressure to democratize. Additionally, the traditional notion of an “empire” is now regarded as oppressive and inhuman, and so vast empires which existed in history are now fragmented into many nation-states, such as in Europe and the former Soviet Union. Meanwhile, authoritarianism is viewed as a centralization of wealth and power within the hands of an upper echelon. This high concentration of power ultimately allows them to impoverish the common peasant and conscript them to wage their personal wars for glory, all in the name of patriotism. Hence, modern society seeks to distance itself from such ideology, with the prevailing philosophy of human rights and equality.

The rise of democracy and fall of authoritarianism and empires all point at one trend, the devolution of central authority. Contemporary philosophy of governance revolves around self-determination, that is letting the common folk decide on their own fate, which society believes is best found in democracy. The doctrine of self-determination is enshrined within the UN Charter, and it is on this principle that the UN supports nations breaking of the shackles of imperialism since the mid 20^th century till the present, as in the case of East Timor. So do you see the trend now? Decentralization and dilution of authority leads to ordinary citizens having a greater say over their own lives. Now, what if we were to stretch this concept to its extreme by giving each person absolute freedom by placing his own destiny on his palm? If less authority is regarded as better, then surely no authority must be the best.

One school of thought, known as anarcho-capitalism, views capitalism as a form of anarchism. Firstly, the essence of capitalism can be described as such: if every individual strives to guard and expand his own interests, then society will function optimally. This is expressed as individuals competing in the market to satisfy his needs. Once again, the opposing end of this economic spectrum is represented by communism, or a state-controlled economy. As history has shown, communism has proved to be a dismal failure with not even a token of success. The Communist bloc of the Cold War is virtually non-existent, and its remnants such as Cuba and North Korea currently suffer from extremely low standards of living. Capitalism has once more proved to be the most effective economic system in providing for society. Our current civilization, which prides itself to be the most technologically advanced and wealthiest in known history, was made only possible through capitalism.

If the free market were to operate without any government interference, all public goods would be privatized. This essentially means that education, security and other amenities will have to be purchased at market rates. Think of it as impossible? Look at Somalia. In the absence of a government over the past 16 years, it has thrived in comparison to other African States, many of which are either democratic or autocratic. Here are some statistics. Somalia is a perfect case study of how anarchy doesn’t necessarily boot a society back into the stone ages. As a matter of fact, it is interesting to note that Somalia has one of the best communications network in Africa due to intensive competition in the deregulated telecommunications market.

In short, Anarchism works on the principle that if every person fends for himself, then society will function optimally. This is because a human being will work hardest if it is to sustain and increase his own standing, and if everyone in society were to do that, the collective result will be maximized.

I am still of the opinion that anarchism is a little overly utopian, but nevertheless, it is a fascinating scenario to delve into. Anarchism is just another passing convoluted thought. I welcome comments and do point out if you note any inconsistencies or flaws in my arguments.