Mornie utúlië (translation : darkness has come)

That is how I feel tonight. Life brings you through the dark caverns every now and then. Mine is to walk through this lonely highway ahead. The old school days of friends were so much fun... It should be a faded memory by now, yet it still lingers on. Perhaps my subconscious still clings to it, as a faint reminder of the good days of old as a result of the hellfire I go through now. I've bid my farewells of old countless times, yet I've never made peace with it. It's like an old wound that never perfectly healed. Realities are harsher than what we would like to think. Attempts to build bridges have come to failure. I prefer to think that I do not know why, rather than accept the bitter truth. Yes, that is living in denial but it's something that makes life a little more bearable. Maybe, just maybe I'll be permanently doomed for the dark lonely road for years to come. Yet there is still hope not lost... there are bridges under construction and bridges which are to come. And for those of you who *might* get the wrong idea, I'm not talking about a girlfriend. I'm just talking about finding sincere and genuine friends, a real rarity nowadays. Many of them are just out there to leech of you, while others are friends for the sake of civility.

And last, but not least, this is a tribute to those of my past :


We had joy we had fun we had seasons in the sun
But the wine and the song like the seasons have all gone
We had joy we had fun we had seasons in the sun
But the wine and the song like the seasons have all gone

Change is effected
through the sands of time...
Transmuting from one to another
Its essence remains intact.

One could call it evolution, another stage in the ladder of progress. Or you could just call it a change of blog. I prefer the latter. It's simplistic in nature without losing too much of its intended meaning. Henceforth, this will define the new style that begins here today and I have adapted my style of writing due to feedback from the masses. Namely, all save a few could actually comprehend what I was saying in my previous blog and I have decided that a change of blog calls for a change of layout and of course, writing style. After much complains from the masses, a change of style is very much in need… perhaps my writing before this lacked in warmth and emotions (I must apologize to my readers for that), I am currently working on it. If you are a new reader and are totally BLUR by what you are reading, just click this link and you can see what I am talking about.

So, my theme for this new blog is “Elegance not grandiloquence”.

The holidays have just begun. I should be happy and relaxed, yet I am not. I can’t pinpoint any specific reason for it and that puzzles me. Perhaps it could be the nagging pile of homework that I’ve yet to touch. It could be a lecturer who loves to “strongly encourage” me (I’ll refrain from saying anymore lest I get screwed if the person hears of it). It could also be due to social factors, which I rather not discuss here ;-). I’ll probably find the answer to that question in a few days.

Besides that, life probably looks bleak as a result of the kiasu syndrome. Studying conflicts with my laid back nature, despite what people think. Hence, being surrounded by people studying all the time does not make me feel at ease. Not at all, actually. I think this break is a good get away from the way of life at INTEC UiTM, which is one aspect I’ve yet to conform to. Life rocked so much in the days of lepakking at 1U or hanging out with friends after school. You just don’t appreciate the good you had til you lose it. Sad to say, that is the reality of life that we must come to terms with. Blind pessimism or optimism is foolish.

Looking at the brighter side of things, life isn’t all gloom and doom. I discovered hostel life isn’t the nightmare I supposed it to be, although there is a lot of room for improvement. Hostel life does allow you to make many new friends and brings you closer to those you have in college. In my opinion, that is probably the strongest reason for being happy in INTEC. Lepakking around until late hours is cool (on par with hanging out at 1U or Midvalley)… don’t knock it til you try it. Warning : The price of doing so is going around like a zombie the next day :-). Seeing that your friends in college are practically your family since they are around both during college and non-college hours, you got to be a total hermit not to have any friends.

That’s all the crap I can cough up for this new blog for now.