A Little Ranting

Sigh. I thought I've finally put those bleak periods behind me once and for all. I thought I've pretty much slammed the door on those days, padlocked it and have moved ahead. How much more wrong could I have been for those times are back with a vengeance. Worse still, I see no light at the end of this tunnel in the short term. I hear the echoes of desolation gnawing on my heart at times, slicing away sliver by sliver. There are moments I blame the world for my predicament, at other times I lay the blame squarely on my own shoulders. However, more recently I am inclined to believe that it lies somewhere between both extremes.

Am I to be blamed for being stuck in this quandary for simply being (inherently) different to the point where my interests and perspectives diverge greatly from that of my peers? Should I be faulted for refusing to wear an ill-fitting mask in order to conform with them?

I've learnt a long time ago that playing the blame game resolves nothing. As such, I will fault no one for my circumstances. I just wished that things aren't what they are. When reality bites, it bites hard.

Hope

Hope, the engine which drives us forward. It blurs past failures and gives a shine to even the bleakest of possibilities. Even through the darkest of nights, there is still a reason to believe that there is a hidden dawn on the horizon. Hope is a dream unrealized, tantalizingly within reach and requiring you to put your foot forward and grasp it.

Anyway, Happy 19th Birthday Ben!

Finals

My finals are in about 8 days time. Wish I had the drive to start studying. Wish I wouldn't take things for granted. Oh well, I'm leaving INTEC in about a month, so you can expect a long tale on my reflections of life in INTEC. :)

I just saw a youtube video that I found profoundly disturbing. Usually I do not find any stuff disturbing, no matter how deviant, gross, shocking or awful, but this time I did. Probably because it struck much closer to home.

Faith will pull me through.

Prayer of the Long-sufferer

A beautiful prayer for those who suffer.

I asked God for strength, that I might achieve.
I was made weak, that I might learn humbly to obey.

I asked for health, that I might do greater things.
I was given infirmity, that I might do better things.

I asked for riches, that I might be happy.
I was given poverty, that I might be wise.

I asked for power, that I might have the praise of men.
I was given weakness, that I might feel the need of God.

I asked for all things, that I might enjoy life.
I was given life, that I might enjoy all things.

I got nothing I asked for - but everything I had hoped for.
Almost despite myself, my unspoken prayers were answered.

I among all men, I am most richly blessed!

- Anonymous

Secret Recipe...

Today is my exroom-mate's (Clarence) birthday, so I joined a bunch of guys celebrating his birthday at the newly opened Secret Recipe near Kolej Cemara.

My Frosty lemon tea. Tasted like 7-11's slurpee with an ice-lemon tea flavour. I guess that is what it is.

Chicken Cordon Bleu. Mine had hardly any cheese and I wonder why.

AUSMAT 18 dudes...

Scholars are just a bunch of people with too much money I guess. I've never dined in so many higher-end restaurants prior to my entry into INTEC :)

A White Pebble

At long last, the Seven Seals has given way to a new layout and theme, A White Pebble. Theoretically, the Seven Seals cannot continue to exist as an integral portion of it has been removed to a separate blog, Conceptual Chaos. This blog will continue to serve as a place of my light musings, daily routine and humour.

The name is biblical and is drawn from Revelation 2:17.

He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches. To him who overcomes I will give some of the hidden manna to eat. And I will give him a white stone, and on the stone a new name written which no one knows except him who receives it.

Have you ever wondered, why a stone? Why did Christ promise those who overcome a pebble? Manna yes, I can consume, but a stone?

Well, back in those times, when a person was hauled to court, at the end the verdict would be delivered by presenting the accused with a pebble: a white pebble meant that the accused was acquitted, a black pebble indicated that the accused was found guilty.

The word for "stone" here is transliterated from Greek as "psephos" while the generic word for "stone" found elsewhere in the bible is "lithos". The word "psephos" only occurs twice, the other is found in Acts 26:10. Paul was speaking on his experience while persecuting Christians prior to his conversion.

This I also did in Jerusalem, and many of the saints I shut up in prison, having received authority from the chief priests; and when they were put to death, I cast my vote against them

The word "psephos" is translated as "cast my vote". Besides that, the word "psephos" is used instead of "lithos" in the book of Revelation. Hence, from the context of the verse in Acts, the meaning and function of "a white stone" becomes clear. So when Christ gives you a white stone, it means that He has found you "innocent" and worthy to enter into His Kingdom!

So, do you want a White Pebble now? :)

Conceptual Chaos

Conceptual Chaos : A fissure in the fabric of reality, forced open by a distortion of chaos

My new blog is finally born after all this months! Henceforth, the Seven Seals will only deal with lighter stuff such as those concerning my personal life.

Transition

This blog will be undergoing a transition once more. I've mentioned months ago that this blog will be revamped and split. In the process, it will be undergoing meiosis, not mitosis. For the biologically uninformed, it basically means that my two new blogs will each have themes that do not overlap.

This blog will retain my usual daily rantings, photos, humour and even tags. Yes, it will be lively, light and your-everyday-stuff; essentially a bimbo (urgh.. distasteful term) blog. It will be a window to my public life. Meanwhile, my other blog will be of a rather abstract, philosophical, intellectual and perhaps political nature. This, on the other hand is where I open my inner sanctum to those who share similar interests.

I do admit that I enjoy blogging in both realms, but I can never seem to please my complaining friends. Some enjoy the lighter side of life while others prefer the heavy weight stuff. Sit back and wait, for it is not far off!

Finally 19

I see the twilight of my teenage years on the horizons. I turned 19 yesterday and have only another 365 days left of my teenage years. Years of hope and despair, calm and turmoil, joy and sadness. Somehow I don't think that will characterize my teenage years, but the rest of my life story. Life's a run on the treadmill, a ride on the roller-coaster, which just goes on and on until your momentum eventually dissipates and diminishes into nothing. Well, despite all that I have much to be thankful for in these few years of life.

I spent the day at the Curve with my former roommates of Kolej Cendana, namely Benjamin, Clarence and Vincent.

We had lunch at Tony Romas in Cineleisure, and I had Grilled Lamb.. it was quite nice. Although I'm far more accustomed to chicken and pork. :)




After that, we went to catch a movie: Skinwalkers. It was a decent movie, nothing to shout about but not too bad either (after watching Black Sheep, I guess nothing could actually be bad). And we went bowling after that. For those of you who are unaware, for every movie ticket you purchase from the cineplex in Cineleisure, you are entitled to a free bowling game in the bowling alley located above the cineplex. Rental of shoes is not free though, a pair costs RM2.

And I tried some donuts from Big Apple, located in The Curve. I was initially skeptical about it "being better than Dunkin' Donuts" but I have to concede that I agree. Haha.

Don't they look delicious?

Later at night I had a porky dinner with my family at The Magic Wok, Damansara Jaya. A lovely way to end one's birthday in my opinion. :)

Anyway, thanks for the birthday wishes all of you guys out there!

Dreams

There he stood by the window, his palms pressed onto the blackened panes as he stared into the infinite beyond. Motionless, he remained there and did not flinch even as a bug scurried up his leg. He stood there, lost in a world stretching far beyond his blood shot eyes. The scene of dancing butterflies, hovering dragonflies, bustling bees in an elaborate garden with a quaint little pond stood before him, but yet he did not see it. Truly, the issues of life ran far deeper than the superficial beauty of life which, as he perceived, to penetrate no further than skin-deep. And thoughts danced and swirled into an intricate labyrinth...

Why do you remain behind these tinted panes?

Are you the master of your fate; the captain of your soul. or little more than a deluded slave of destiny?