As usual. There are no words to describe it precisely, but it will not stop me from trying. I simply cannot comprehend the intricacies at times. I relish the almost solitary lifestyle that I more often than not, find myself in. The freedom of not wearing a mask and the liberty from fear of being ostracized (or worse still, derided) are too alluring to resist. On the other hand, I despise it intensely, I hate wallowing in the surreal silence for hours at a stretch. It is dehumanizing; it is demeaning; yet time and time again I find myself here.
You see, I am here in this quandary not by choice, but rather I'm forced into it by circumstances. Few will ever understand my predicament, as hardly any have ever walked down my path. They are neither easy nor pleasant footsteps to fill in. Am I an elitist, for seeking company of my own sort? Yet do not birds of a feather flock together, except in my case I have the unfortunate distinction of being a rare avian? Nevertheless, I am thankful that I have crossed paths with other similar friends, despite it being no more than 1 or 2 individuals throughout my life.
I don’t need pity, just a little empathy. I expect little though, for who actually cares?
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